Saturday, August 2, 2008

I was doing some research the other day when I stumbled on a startling fact: Pacifico tastes much better than Budweiser, but Bud pairs with two vicodin so much better. It might be because A-B actually puts a small amount of pure morphine into each batch of beer. You know, like Coke used to do with cocaine? Yea, they still do it to beer. Only its not a secret ingredient; everyone knows about it and no one says a thing. Except now.

How was this secret kept for so long? Simple. No one, and I mean NO ONE, would ever want to ruin that fun for the rest of us. Don't get me wrong, there are people who wouldn't think twice about answering the cell during a movie, slowing down at a green light, or even reminding the teacher about the homework she forgot to assign, but that same person would never discuss the mixing of synthetic morphine with The King of Beers (C)

The reason is simple: in order to actually realize this deliciously fun combo exists, you have to take both of the drugs (alcohol + opiates) separately, then together, then with a bowl of ice cream, to figure out the connection.

And anyone who ever did that, would never want to ruin another person's chance to discover it on their own.

3 comments:

mr shit said...

I that, like, for real?

Elena said...

This is high humor at its finest!

Upon my first reading, my inner-prude came out and I was mildly put off by the blatant reference to drug use. (As you know, I like to keep my addictions private).

And then, I read it again.

Wouldn't you know? I found this post absolutely wonderful, especially your account of the control element to the experience of discovery.

We should share some ice cream soon.

Jonathan said...

Careful bro don't mix alcohol with Acetaminophen if you can help it.

Speaking of Vicodin I'd like to see a post while under the influence of Hyedrocone!