Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Naming Conventions on RedTube Have Room For Improvement

Redtube.com is what the internet was made for: free porn videos with absolutely no censoring or ads. In fact, most of it isn't even 'porn' in the ron jeremy, fast-forwarded through the 'plot' sense, but honest to goodness non-celebrity videotaped fucking. Nevertheless, despite the fact that it is truly the promise of the internet unleashed in one place, there is one problem that needs correcting: the titles given to the videos.

To be sure, some are very accurate: 'Home Movie-Fucking A Small Dick' is, indeed, just that. But, just what exactly does "Brazilians Having Fun" convey? It could be a bunch of assholes playing soccer, Which might be a fetish, but then it should say so. (After watching the aforementioned I can actually suggest the title of "assholes playing soccer.")

Looking for something a little more artful? Then you are gay and are ruining porn for the rest of us. Stop.

Another sad consequence of thoughtless naming is that crucial information is lost, even if the name is technically correct. Upon initially viewing the title of "Sexy Girl Getting Hard Fuck," one does not get the truth that the star is in fact a pig-tailed asian spinner with braces. About the only accurate part is the 'hard fuck.'

Of course, the panopoly of human sexual practices makes it impossible to accurately name some videos: 'orgy' could never really encapsulate the epic scale of this depravity straight from the land of the rising sun and birthplace of the upskirt fetish, nor can 'ejaculate' be anything but a lukewarm attempt to define an ability that was last seen hosing down blacks in Alabama in 1964. Thus, I can forgive their authors for falling short.

But the award for most difficult to title properly goes to this little gem, shot in a magical place where being in love means never having to look for a toilet.

5 comments:

Mikey 2 trips said...

Bravo! I'm standing up and clapping at my desk. My assclown coworkers are staring at me.

Anonymous said...

This shit is hilarious. I still don't believe I sat through that whole last one and no scat. C'mon Duke, get your head in the game! Get your head in the game!

Jane said...

i could care less about the titleS. i'm just happy free porn is available to us.

:D

Anonymous said...

does anyone think porn is the only business still thriving during the credit cruch? I think many folks seek refuge in buying and wanking porn during the crunch


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Anonymous said...

piracy affects porn but it's still winner during the crunch


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kelly divine